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The School-O-Vision Song Contest

By Andrew Oxspring, Nick Haworth, Lisa & Mark Hilton
Ages: 7-11yrs

Running Time

60 Mins Approx

Speaking Parts

49

Cast Size
(Including Non-Speaking)

55

Cast Size
Easily Reduced To

22

Suggestions for how to easily reduce and increase the cast size to suit your numbers are included in the "content samples" for this musical.

No. Of Songs

7

So, 2024 is the 50th anniversary of Eurovision. But forget Eurovision! We bring you instead an equally-spectacular musical extravaganza – the School-O-Vision Song Contest! Representing the varied groups that make up our school community, different acts compete to win the School-O-Vision crown, half a century after it was first won by legendary group, RABBLE! Between flamboyant musical performances and the hosts’ catty banter, we also get to peek behind the scenes at the groups in their daily lives and find out how teachers, parents, premises officers, kitchen staff, infants and, of course, this year’s Yr 6 leavers, all contribute to school life in their own unique and hilarious ways!
*FREE Word doc. of the script to edit yourself*

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Overview

This is the School-O-Vision Song Contest – not only a spectacular musical event, but also an entertaining insight into the characters that make primary school so special!

With a grand fanfare, we are introduced to the show’s popular host, Graham Norty, who quickly demonstrates that his reputation as a catty commentator is well-deserved! We also meet his co-hosts, the glamorous Nell Points and, with a translator in tow, the slightly shy Bjӧrn Yisturdy. With some hilarious banter, together they introduce a series of acts representing the varied groups from our school community, all keen to win the prestigious School-O-Vision crown! However, before the contest starts, we welcome the legendary group, RABBLE, who stormed to victory fifty years ago in the first ever School-O-Vision, with their song, ‘What A School’. Despite now being in their sixties, they give an energetic rendition to open the show!

Before they perform their songs, as is the tradition with School-O-Vision, we get an introductory peek at the competing groups in their daily lives. First up, we witness the PTA at their meeting to plan the summer fete. With so much to organise, you’d imagine all members’ minds would be on the job in hand…if only! As the group ‘Parent Power’, they then hit the stage to perform their song, ‘Join The PTA’, a joyful celebration of the art of fund-raising! 

Next we meet the backbone of every school – the premises officers! In a behind-the-scenes glimpse of them at work, we learn that the lost property bin can be an Aladdin’s cave of riches! As the group ‘The Mop Tops’ they give us their song, ‘Cleanin’ Up’, a cheeky tune that explains their unique approach to ‘recycling’!

What do teachers do when the bell rings at the end of each day? Planning? Marking? Not this lot…they like to party! With the staffroom transformed into a nightclub, complete with a funky DJ and confiscated refreshments, they dance the night away! But who has been using the photocopier inappropriately?! As the group ‘Hot Coffee’ they perform a classic disco song, ‘Boom! Boom! Boom! (We’re Rockin’ the Staffroom)’ and boogie like there’s no tomorrow! 

We are then honoured to spend some time in the company of those culinary kings and queens, those heroes behind the hatch…the kitchen staff. With OFSTED in school and ‘French Day’ in full swing, can they create a menu to impress? And can they keep a new foul-mouthed member of the team out of earshot! As the group ‘Haute Cuisine’ they perform a banging euro remix of a traditional folk song, ‘Chips And Beans’.  

The smallest members of the school community are next on stage. We join some five-year-olds during carpet-time with their patient teacher, Miss Tilly, who is trying to instil in them the values of tidiness and cleanliness, both environmental and personal! The sights, sounds and smells of KS1 are then put under the spotlight as ‘Tiny T & The Chaos Crew’, straight outta reception, storm the stage with their hip-hop anthem, ‘Total Chaos’.  

The final act of the evening represents the Yr 6 leavers. We join them in the park, discussing the move to ‘big’ school and the pitfalls to be aware of whilst trying on their new uniforms! As the group ‘The BeLeavers’, they are the last to perform, leading us in their song, ‘Moving On’.

With all performances completed, it’s time to find a winner. After a summary of the acts who have graced the stage, it’s over to the audience to decide. Which song has lifted spirits the highest, is most worthy of the School-O-Vision title and is deserving of an encore? Encouraged to clap and cheer for their favourite, your audience will crown a champion and, following sentimental farewells, the evening will finish as it started…with the sound of joyful singing!

Listen below to the songs from ‘The School-O-Vision Song Contest’
"What A School"
"Join The PTA"
"Boom Boom Boom"
"Cleanin' Up"
"Chips And Beans"
"Total Chaos"
"Moving On"

Characters

49 speaking parts in order of appearance
Easily increased or reduced to suit your numbers 
(change names and/or gender to suit your cast)
Graham Norty – catty host with the funniest put-downs in the business
Nell Points genteel French co-host
Björn Yisturdy shy Swedish co-host
Translator bridging the language divide
RABBLE legendary pop act and original School-O-Vision champions

The PTA, performing as the group ‘Parent Power’
Penny keeping an eye on the spends
Sandy keen fund-raiser
Ronnie would rather be watching the footie
Gilly strict chairperson
Mary makes the best lemon drizzles
Kev not allowed near the BBQ

The Premises Officers, performing as the group ‘The Mop Tops’
Pete has plans for early retirement
Colin a wiz with an iron and a can of Febreze
Rachel with a nose for lost property 
Shirley expert in e-commerce
Fred veteran caretaker with secret skills

The Teachers, performing as the group ‘Hot Coffee’
Andy on the staffroom door, keeping out the riff-raff
Dave the riff-raff
Laura there’s always one who cries at a party 
Maz a shoulder to cry on
Matt staffroom DJ, spinning the wheels of steel
Jane keeping the confiscated treats bowl well-stocked
Mrs Finton deputy head with important things to do
Mr Dickinson with inventive ways to use a photocopier

The Kitchen Staff, performing as the group ‘Haute Cuisine’
Denise old-school dinner-lady
Alan forward-thinking cook
George just happy to be part of a team 
Janet embracing French Day
4 Children bon appétit
Mrs Lomax panicking headteacher
OFSTED Inspector wanting to sample a spot of ‘déjeuner’

The Reception Class, performing as the group ‘Tiny T & The Chaos Crew’
Miss Tilly teacher with a very sensitive gag-reflex
5 Infant Children their mess is an assault on all the senses

The Year 6 gang, performing as the group ‘The Be-Leavers’
6 Friends dealing with the knots in their ties and the knots in their tummies 

Non-speaking characters 
More dancing teachers 
Daisy (reception child) as pretty as a Christmas tree…literally

What do you get?

This musical production is available to buy in 2 different formats.

Option 1 – Physical Product – Posted

This option can be paid for online, or schools* can request to have goods sent with an invoice to be paid within 30 days.
* Non-UK schools and private individuals (not ordering on behalf of a UK school) must pay online.

A wire-bound book with:
Full script
Detailed stage directions
Character information
Tips for costumes, props and scenery
Piano score for all songs
Licensing information

An Audio CD with:
Vocal demo tracks to all songs
Backing tracks to all songs
Continuity/incidental music
Sound effects

Option 2 – Digital Download

Any order containing a digital download option must be paid for online at the point of ordering. Any order containing a digital download which is not accompanied by payment will not be processed.

Both PDF and editable MS Word documents of:
Full script
Detailed stage directions
Character information
Tips for costumes, props and scenery
Piano score for all songs
Licensing information

MP3 files of:
Vocal demo tracks to all songs
Backing tracks to all songs
Continuity/incidental music
Sound effects

Extras included:
JPEG files of cover artwork for making posters or other promo material.

Upon completion of your order, a link will be automatically sent to the email address you provided, from which all the files can be downloaded.

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