The year is 2075. Billy and Becky, two typical eleven-year-olds, are staying over at their grandparents’ ‘pod’, in the sheltered sector. Like all doting grandparents the old folks are keen to keep abreast of their grandchildren’s progress, and to gain an insight into their experiences of primary school – or ‘System A’ as it is now known! Billy and Becky are also eager to learn of Grandma and Grandpa’s antics as they approached their teenage years, all those years ago. (song – Old School Days)
As the evening’s conversation wears on it becomes apparent that these children from the latter half of the 21st century are really no different to those who were leaving primary school back in the ‘good old days’. Equally apparent is that some experiences of primary school span generations, and the truly noteworthy ones always involve larger-than-life characters and funny situations. Through a series of flashbacks, in the form of sketches and songs, we get an entertaining (if tongue-in-cheek) glimpse of the universal trials and tribulations involved in simply being young and going to school.
For example, is it fair that teachers get to eat chocolate biscuits at break-time, while children make do with bits of fruit? (song – Teachers Have It Easy) How can mums be made to understand that, now their children are getting older, they must not, under any circumstances, try to hold their hand on the way to school? (song – A.T.T.I.T.U.D.E.) Does experimenting with makeup and hair-gel really improve ones appearance, especially when the skills of applying them haven’t quite been mastered yet? (song – A Touch Of Lipstick) Will anyone ever develop a truly effective cure for a dose of nits? (song – The Nits Blues) What’s the best way to get good SATs results without piling the pressure on? (song – It’s Nearly Time To Take Your SATs) Who suffers most at parental consultations, and why do teachers choose to be ‘economical’ with the truth? (song – Parental Consultation Evening) And who can forget desperately wanting to be grown-up, but having the feeling that maybe this is the best time of ones life, and every moment should be cherished? (song – One Day At A Time).
37 Speaking parts in order of appearance
*Click on the Line count/Costumes tab for more details
Note: if you have a smaller cast, because most characters only appear in one scene, multiple parts can be played by a single child. Alternatively, for extra-large cast numbers, many speaking parts have enough lines to be divided between any extra characters you want to create.
The Grandparents – An old but still ‘cool’ couple.
Billy and Becky – Squabbling siblings.
Mr Riley – Aptly-named teacher, living the life of…..
6 Children – The exploited, down-trodden masses.
2 Doting Mothers – Can’t let go of their precious ones at the beginning of the school day.
3 Infant & 3 Junior Children – Two opposite ends of the ‘attitude spectrum’.
Infant Teacher – To her, children are angels sent from heaven to make life sweeter.
Year 6 Teacher – Counting the days to early retirement.
Mrs Versace – Trying to improve the ‘look’ of her class.
6 ‘Drab’ Children – In need of a makeover, or so they believe.
Headteacher – Image is everything.
2 Prospective Parents – Hoping to find a school that scrubs up well.
4 Sergeant Majors – Presenters of the SATs revision programme ‘Work Harder Slacker’.
Mr & Mrs Hetherington-Smyth – Double-barrelled parents in more than just name.
Geraldine – Their daughter, away with the fairies.
Mr & Mrs Scrapper – Parents who’ll rip yer ’ead off as soon as look at yer.
Gripper – Their son. A disgrace down the ‘Dog and Bucket’ for being good at schoolwork.
His teacher – Parents’ evenings? Mmm. I’d rather wrestle a grizzly bear.
Ensemble characters (if numbers allow) for featured songs and scenes
What do you get?
This musical production is available to buy in 3 different formats. When ordering, simply choose the option (details below) which best suits your requirements.
- Option 1 – Book & Audio CD.
A wire-bound book containing the full script with detailed stage directions, character information, tips and suggestions for costumes, props and scenery, and a piano score for all songs. An audio CD of all songs (backing tracks & vocal tracks) plus continuity/incidental music and sound effects where required.
- Option 2 – CD-ROM & Audio CD.
A CD-ROM containing both a PDF and an editable MS Word document of the full script, with detailed stage directions, character information, tips and suggestions for costumes, props and scenery, and a PDF of the piano score for all songs. An audio CD of all songs (backing tracks & vocal tracks) plus continuity/incidental music and sound effects where required.
- Option 3 – Digital download.
All the PDF and MS Word files from Option 2 above, all audio tracks as MP3 files, plus JPEG files of cover artwork for use in making posters or other promotional material. Upon completion of your order, a link will be automatically sent to the email address you provided, from which all the files can be downloaded.
Any order containing a digital download option must be paid for online at the point of ordering. Any order containing a digital download which is not accompanied by payment will not be processed.
UK schools can order Book & Audio CD and CD-ROM & Audio CD options with an invoice to be paid within 30 days. Non-UK schools and private individuals (not ordering on behalf of a school) are required to pay for these at the point of ordering.