Superb Musicals, Songs & Assemblies for Primary Schools

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Camelot

By Mark & Lisa Hilton
All-Year-Round pantomime musical for KS2 (ages 7-11)
Running time approx: 60 minutes


It’s simply the best musical you could perform this year! Oh no it isn’t! Oh yes it positively, absolutely, definitely is! With all your favourite cheeky panto clichés, plenty of over-the-top characters, a fast-paced, hilarious script and clever, catchy parodies of some very popular songs, we join Arthur and his flamboyant entourage on their quest to save Camelot from dark forces!


*FREE Word doc. of the script to edit yourself*

Categories: , , , Product ID: 36819
Plot Summary


After the opening song (‘Welcome’), the wizard Merlin tells the backstory to our pantomime. When old King Uther died, a treacherous knight, Mordred, usurped the throne at Camelot! For his safety, the infant Prince Arthur, rightful heir to the throne, was hidden with a peasant family and brought-up unaware of his royal heritage. Fifteen years later, the time has now come for him to fulfil his destiny, return to Camelot and become king. However, Arthur’s older sister, Morgana, has other plans! With a book of spells stolen from Merlin, she has become a powerful witch and vows to become Mordred’s queen, then do away with him and take the throne for herself!

Scene 1
By the road to Camelot sits a large stone in which a sword is stuck. A poster states that the person who can pull the sword out shall be the rightful royal ruler! After some comical tugs by various peasants, the sword remains unmoved. Enter Arthur, his bestie, Lancelot, and his gloriously-gaudy foster-mum, our dame! More comical tugging ensues, with Arthur releasing the sword, being declared king (song – ‘A Funny Thing Happened’) and setting off to Camelot to claim the throne!

Scene 2
Gathered round a cauldron, Morgana and her cackling coven of evil witches have heard tell of Arthur’s pulling power. After some squabbling about what constitutes being evil, they cast a spell (song – ‘Dark Magic’) that will scupper his return to Camelot. Merlin enters and overhears Morgana’s wicked intentions, then rushes off to assist Arthur.

Scene 3
Stopping at the Good Knight Inn for lunch, Arthur, Mum and Lancelot meet Galahad, Gawain and Percival, banished knights awaiting the return of the true king, ready to help him defeat the usurper Mordred. On learning that Arthur is this true king, they declare their allegiance to him, as does Gobby, a waitress at the inn, who longs for an exciting life away from the frustratingly-complicated list of daily specials she has to read to unappreciative diners! (song – ‘Arthur’s Army’)

Scene 4
In the Gloomy Woods, five trees moan that their role in this pantomime isn’t what they’d hoped for when they auditioned! Never mind – they throw themselves into their parts and, under Morgana’s spell, attempt to trap Arthur when he enters the woods. Following a bit of ‘IT’S BEHIND YOU!’ our hero and entourage manage to evade capture and, now joined by Merlin, continue on to Camelot.

Scene 5
Her first spell foiled, Morgana has a surprise for the gang when they reach the Gurgling River. She conjures up a water monster with a taste for ‘yooman beans’ (song – ‘Monster Munchies’), but with some magic from Merlin, the good guys continue on their journey, shaken but unscathed. During the scene change, our dame has a cheeky chat with the audience, recounting her sixteen previous marriages – four better, four worse, four richer and four poorer!

Scene 6
In a meadow outside Camelot, we meet Guinevere. When her ladies-in-waiting say they’ve heard tell that the rightful king, Arthur, is on his way to claim the throne, Guinevere hopes he’ll be her knight in shining armour and save her from the evil Mordred, who has been relentlessly pestering her to marry him! (song – ‘Rescue Me’) At this point, Morgana arrives. With her own plans to marry Mordred, she conjures a grotesque nose onto Guinevere’s face and kidnaps her. The path is now clear for Morgana to become queen!

Scene 7
In an epic showdown, Arthur arrives at Camelot just as Morgana tricks her way back into Mordred’s affections, declaring herself queen! (song – ‘Morgana The Queen’) In a thrilling magical battle between her and Merlin, wrongs are righted and Camelot is saved! The villains are forgiven for their past deeds and a bright future beckons. As they take delivery of a certain circular piece of furniture, around which to discuss things in a grown-up way, it seems that all will truly live happily ever after. Hurray! (song – ‘A Funny Thing Happened – reprise’)

Sample Songs

Listen below to the songs from ‘A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Camelot’


*Click on the Line count/Costumes tab for more details

If you have too few actors to fill all the roles below, or indeed if you’d like to create more parts for a larger number of children, see page 34 of the book for our suggestions on reducing and increasing the cast size.

39 Speaking parts
Merlin – a wise, wizened wizard
Morgana – a princess gone bad
Gwyneth, Jed, Derwa and Kendrick – resourceful peasants after a quick buck
3 Farmworkers – chancing their arms
Arthur – a hero with pulling-power
Lancelot – his bestie
Mum – our glamorous (?) dame
2 Delivery Men – round table transporters
5 Witches – cackling old crones
Gobby – a tongue-twisting waitress
Galahad, Gawain and Percival – bold knights, eager to get back in the game
5 Trees – milking their roles with dramatic effect
4 Monsters – googly-eyed river-dwellers with a taste for ‘yooman beans’
Guinevere – a damsel in distress
3 Ladies-in-waiting – her match-making mates
Mordred – lovelorn arch villain
2 Royal Advisors – bigging him up

Ensemble Characters

Peasant and Farmers
Diners at the Good Knight Inn
Choir (if numbers permit) to lead the traditional panto shout-outs

What do you get?

This musical production is available to buy in 3 different formats. When ordering, simply choose the option (details below) which best suits your requirements.

  • Option 1 – Book & Audio CD.
    A wire-bound book containing the full script with detailed stage directions, character information, tips and suggestions for costumes, props and scenery, and a piano score for all songs. An audio CD of all songs (backing tracks & vocal tracks) plus continuity/incidental music and sound effects where required.
  • Option 2 – CD-ROM & Audio CD.
    A CD-ROM containing both a PDF and an editable MS Word document of the full script, with detailed stage directions, character information, tips and suggestions for costumes, props and scenery, and a PDF of the piano score for all songs. An audio CD of all songs (backing tracks & vocal tracks) plus continuity/incidental music and sound effects where required.
  • Option 3 – Digital download.
    All the PDF and MS Word files from Option 2 above, all audio tracks as MP3 files, plus JPEG files of cover artwork for use in making posters or other promotional material. Upon completion of your order, a link will be automatically sent to the email address you provided, from which all the files can be downloaded.

Any order containing a digital download option must be paid for online at the point of ordering. Any order containing a digital download which is not accompanied by payment will not be processed.

UK schools can order Book & Audio CD and CD-ROM & Audio CD options with an invoice to be paid within 30 days. Non-UK schools and private individuals (not ordering on behalf of a school) are required to pay for these at the point of ordering.

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