Superb Musicals, Songs & Assemblies for Primary Schools

Who Took All The Loo Roll?

(2 customer reviews)

By Nick Haworth & Andrew Oxspring

Christmas musical for ages 4-11, including a Nativity scene

2 versions of the script included, to suit both older and younger casts

Running time: 50 minutes

No. of speaking parts: 45

Cast size inc. non-speaking parts: 65

Cast size easily reduced to: 23

Cast size easily increased to: 90+ 

To those  watching us from across the galaxy, we humans must seem a strange species! Some of the things we do are quite extraordinary! Yet at Christmas, with our weird and wonderful festive traditions, we are truly at our best. Referencing our world’s recent troubles, this musical celebrates how we come together at this time of year, in love and friendship, to cheer each other up and remind ourselves about what’s really important.  *includes FREE Word doc. of the script to edit yourself*



Categories: , , Product ID: 42152
Plot Summary

Did you have any idea that we were being watched by beings from a distant planet, who are curious about our bizarre ways? (song – We’ve Been Watching You) Amused, confused and intrigued by what we do, and sympathetic to our recent troubles, they want to reach out across the galaxy to us…and so they have planned a visit! They have discovered that we are at our friendliest and most peaceful at Christmastime and decide that this is when they will come. So they set about researching our festive traditions, viewing our behaviour on their hi-tech screens and learning as much as they can about what we do to celebrate, so they will feel less like strangers when they arrive.

Presents are a lovely way to show we care. Whilst viewing a family exchanging gifts, the aliens soon understand why it’s better to give than receive…especially when what you’re giving (or rather off-loading) is the excess loo roll you panic-bought earlier in the year! We are also reminded that there’s no better gift than something hand-made, with love, from a child.
(song – From Me To You)

The aliens then set about researching Christmas trees, learning how jolly they make us feel, bringing a decorative twinkle to our homes. But for one family who is without a tree on Christmas Eve, the only option might be the last poor, shabby and unattractive little spruce left in the shop! Will they give it a home and save it from being firewood?
(song – The Last Christmas Tree)

Our strange practice of kissing under the mistletoe is something that fascinates the aliens. As Great Granny descends on her family for Christmas, armed with a sprig of mistletoe, what can the grandchildren do to avoid their cheeks being covered in lipstick? Absolutely nothing! Luckily there’s enough spare toilet roll in the house to wipe it off!
(song – Great Granny And The Mistletoe)

Ah, a traditional Christmas dinner! Turkey and the trimmings, eaten whilst pulling crackers and wearing paper hats – what’s not to like? But have you ever spared a thought for those poor Brussel sprouts? Ridiculed by the more popular items on the plate and left at the end of the meal to be thrown in the bin, Christmas can be an unhappy time for them! What will the aliens make of the festive season’s most misunderstood vegetable?
(song – Sprouts Have Feelings Too)

Of course, the most important thing for the aliens to find out is why humans celebrate Christmas. In a narrated nativity scene, in which the tableau is presented and a carol sung, they are introduced to the characters who were part of the first ever Christmas. However, the donkey has a few words to say about who is the real hero of the story, leading everyone in a song and dance highlighting his contribution to the events surrounding the birth of Jesus.
(song – Do The Donkey)

So, having found out plenty about humans and our festive behaviour, the aliens get ready to blast off for Earth, keen to experience Christmas for themselves. With rucksacks full of presents, during the final song they arrive and are warmly welcomed. Selfies are taken, gifts exchanged and, with a rousing chorus to finish, troubles are forgotten!
(song – Christmas is Finally Here)

Sample Songs

45 Speaking parts
This number can easily be made smaller or larger depending on your cast size – tips on how to do this are included
*Click on the Line count/Costumes tab for more character details

8 Aliens

Family #1
Daisy, George, Mum, Dad, Aunty Sue & Uncle Jim

Family #2
Alice & Mum
Christmas Tree

Family #3
Daniel, Lucy, Dad, Mum & Great Granny

The Christmas Dinner
A Knife
A Fork
2 Pigs-in-Blankets
2 Carrots
3 Roast Potatoes
3 Sprouts

The Nativity
3 Narrators
3 Donkeys

Non-speaking characters for featured songs
An ensemble of children with wrapped presents
An ensemble of mistletoe-bearers
An ensemble of sprouts
Traditional Nativity characters
An ensemble of donkeys

Character Info PDF
click here to view

Script Sample PDF
click here to view

Shorter Script Sample PDF
click here to view

What do you get?

This musical production is available to buy in 3 different formats. When ordering, simply choose the option (details below) which best suits your requirements.

  • Option 1 – Book & Audio CD.
    A wire-bound book containing both the full and shorter scripts, detailed stage directions, character information, tips and suggestions for costumes, props and scenery, and a piano score for all songs. An audio CD of all songs (backing tracks & vocal tracks) plus continuity/incidental music and sound effects where required.
  • Option 2 – CD-ROM & Audio CD.
    A CD-ROM containing both a PDF and an editable MS Word document of both the full and shorter scripts, with detailed stage directions, character information, tips and suggestions for costumes, props and scenery, a PDF of the piano score for all songs and MP3s of all tracks. An audio CD of all songs (backing tracks & vocal tracks) plus continuity/incidental music and sound effects where required.
  • Option 3 – Digital download.
    All the PDF and MS Word files from Option 2 above, all audio tracks as MP3 files, plus JPEG files of cover artwork for use in making posters or other promotional material. Upon completion of your order, a link will be automatically sent to the email address you provided, from which all the files can be downloaded.

Any order containing a digital download option must be paid for online at the point of ordering. Any order containing a digital download which is not accompanied by payment will not be processed.

UK schools can order Book & Audio CD and CD-ROM & Audio CD options with an invoice to be paid within 30 days. Non-UK schools and private individuals (not ordering on behalf of a school) are required to pay for these at the point of ordering.

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5 out of 5 stars

2 reviews

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What others are saying

  1. Chow Leey


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  2. Amazing


    I’m so excited to do it and the food comes to life it’s so amazingly beautiful and funny 🤣🤣👻👻👽👽👽👽

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