Hot Dates

Content details

(Scroll down for song samples, characters and plot summary)

It’s a teacher day, and the staff meet to set dates for those ‘special’ events that take pride of place on a school calendar. As they recall the same events from previous years we witness a hijacked harvest festival, a disastrous infant nativity, the pitfalls of Valentine’s Day, the ‘competitive’ behaviour of parents at matches, an unusual take on the beanbag race, and the emotional farewell bid by those leaving in July.

Songs include

Glad To Be Back Food For Thought Silent Night Boys & Girls Football Mums & Dads Wonderful Days

To move between songs use on the player above

Sample piano score

Download a sample piano score (JPG)

Characters

Headteacher - Six weeks 'r' and 'r' isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's back to school with a heavy heart.
Teachers - As disorganised a bunch as any you are likely to meet. Their intentions are honourable, even if their actions aren't. Actually, their intentions aren't honourable.
Harvest kids - Since when have caviar and truffles been traditional harvest donations?
Mother - Since she didn't want to be shown up!
Infant nativity angels - Narrators who are just about able to get their young tongues around 'Befflyham' and 'framklimstent.'
Gabriel - One would expect the holder of the top job in the heavenly host to carry a little bit more clout.
Mary and Joseph - Their parenting skills leave much to be desired.
Donkey - The term beast of burden has never been so aptly applied.
Innkeeper - Fully-booked? Guests have obviously not been put off by his constant scratching.
Shepherds - Tea-towels and tunics - a classic combination for the festive season.
Wise men - How will the majestic bickering trio cope with the fact they seem to be one present short?
Professor - Our esteemed guide through the minefield of understanding children's bizarre behavioural patterns.
Reception boy and girl - Aaahhhh. Or should that be Eurrrrgh?
Year 2 boys - Macho men in the making.
Year 2 girls - Their mission - to stick to their teacher come what may
Infant teacher - Her mission - to escape.
Year 4 boys - Girl is a four letter word.
Year 4 girls - Armed with skipping ropes and vicious put-downs.
Year 6 boy and girl - Hopelessly devoted, up to the point where they have to actually spend time together.
Mums and Dads - Children's football isn't about life and death - it's more important than that.

Plot summary

The summer holidays are over and the staff return to school for a teacher day, to discuss and make plans for the forthcoming school year. Armed with brand spanking new diaries they proceed to set dates for those 'special' and 'traditional' events that make being a child, parent and teacher involved with primary school so unique. As their meeting progresses we soon realise that, despite a huge effort from every individual concerned, a typical year in the life of these beloved institutions rarely runs according to plan! Throughout 'HOT DATES' the highs and lows, dramas and disasters, smiles and hiccups of three terms are lovingly, if wickedly, brought to life.

The teachers use their experiences of previous years to decide upon the finer details of the events they're planning, and it is these experiences that provide the backbone of 'HOT DATES.' Audiences will find themselves unwitting witnesses to memories of a hijacked harvest festival, a catastrophic infant nativity play, the pleasures and pitfalls of Valentine celebrations, the ludicrous behaviour of parents at football matches, embarrassing variations on the classic beanbag race on sports day, and of course the emotional farewell bid by year 6 leavers.

Hilarious and uplifting, yet sensitive and perceptive, this production is a celebration of those things we hold dear about our earliest educational experiences. For children and adults alike, here is a collection of sketches and songs that will not fail to split sides and bring lumps to throats.