Buses, Brushes, Bobbies & Bleach

Content details

(Scroll down for song samples, characters and plot summary)

The conversation during a typical family breakfast lifts the lid on what goes on at school, after parents wave goodbye to their children each morning. What really happens on school trips? Are our teaching assistants superheroes? How do infants scare grown men? What goes into producing the paintings that come home? And how does it feel to leave this all behind at the end of Yr 6?

Songs include

Never Had It So Good School Trip Boogie Hey T.A. Infants Are Scary  Arty Party Goodbye My Friend

To move between songs use on the player above

Sample piano score

Download a sample piano score (JPG)

Characters

Mum - Her word is law, say no more.
Dad  - His visits to the real world are few and far between.
Katie and Oliver -  Me, me, me, me, me, me, me….. (names could be changed to those of the actors playing these characters)
Trip- Leading Teacher -  The first recorded case of CHCD (Compulsive Head-Counting Disorder)
Parent Helpers - A bit of concentration when learning to count wouldn't have gone amiss.
Expeditionary Class - Their goal - to reach the back seat of the bus first.
Bus Driver - Bad tempered? Wouldn’t you be with this lot?
Maths Teacher - A bit of concentration at teacher-training college wouldn't have gone amiss.
Learning Support Assistant - Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Wonder Woman in an apron.
Class - Can these poor wretches be saved by the above?
A Pair of Infants - Message-carrying menaces.
Headteacher - Onto a real cushy number.
2 Policemen and 2 Firemen - The bravest of the brave, the boldest of the bold visit school for an 'easy' morning away from the front line.
More Infants - Suddenly the front line doesn't seem such a bad place after all.
Art Teacher - Control freak! Painting-by-numbers is the height of creativity.
Class - Desperate for a blessed release from SATs practice.
Quiz Show Hosts - Cool and funky and down wid da kids.
2 Kid Contestants - They think they know it all…. and they really do.
2 Teacher Contestants (real ones) - You decide.
Whole Class Orchestral Ensemble - How good they are is down to you!!!

Plot summary

It's a stereotypical family breakfast - Katie and Oliver will be late for school unless they get their behinds into gear, mum has an endless list of things occupying her thoughts, while dad seems interested in nothing but the back pages of the newspaper. Nevertheless, with the conversation being dominated by the two children (as is usually the case) the family is soon in deep discussion about what's going on at school. Because letters home rarely reach the hands of parents, such discussions are vital if they are to have any idea of what really goes on for those six or seven hours a day, when they hand over the care their little darlings to a different set of adults!

In this latest collection of rib-ticklingly poignant sketches and songs the lid is well and truly lifted on the 'secret' and 'mysterious' aspects of a typical primary school. What really happens during class trips to the zoo? Are Learning Support Assistants really super-heroes in disguise? How do infants, the smallest members of the school community, have the power to reduce grown men to gibbering, nervous wrecks? What really goes into producing those paintings which adorn many a fridge door at home? Do teachers really know more than their pupils? And how does it feel to say goodbye on the last day of year 6, and bring to an end a very precious chapter of one's life?

The answers to these questions lie herein, as yet again Andrew Oxspring 'blows the whistle' with warmth, affection and a huge dollop of laughter, on more familiar school situations. 'Buses, Brushes, Bobbies and Bleach' gives all of us - children, families and teachers - the chance to celebrate our younger years, and, more importantly, have a lot of fun doing so. Warning! This is not a show for those who take themselves too seriously!